Talk in Sacrament

This past Sunday me and Log spoke in church.

I spoke on conversion

and he spoke on a mighty change of heart.

I prayed for the right inspiration

to come on where my Heavenly Father

wanted me to direct my talk.

I wanted to have the spirit with me through out it

and when I shared my testimony on conversion,

but as I prayed for this inspiration to come

I felt as if i didn't get anything.

I continued praying, going to the temple to pray,

but still nothing came

and I got disscouaged.

I know that was satan wanting me to feel that way,

to feel like I can't make a different,

so I got on my knees again.

This time when I went back to the computer

I began typing,

I felt inspired.

Still having some doubt in the back of my mind

I read and re read this talk 100 times

making sure I got in everything I wanted to share.

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When I give talks I write them out word for word.

Im NOT one of those people

who can have bullet points,

or simply know what I will say when I get up.

I WISH I was like that but im just not.

I write it out word for word

and I get scared

because I want so bad to connect with the audience ,

to look up,

and speak from my heart,

but that always feels so far from my reach.

So we woke up bright and early the morning of

and reviewed.

When I was preparing and reviewing

I felt really good about it and not too nervous.

We got to church, walked up front

and my hands began sweating,

I could hear my heart beating

I was so nervous.

When it was my turn I tried pulling myself together

and walked up to the pulpit.

Suddenly when I got up there all of my doubt left me

and I was able to be myself,

I hardly looked at my paper and i felt guided.

I felt the spirit overwhelm me.

Letting me know that what i was sharing

was true,

and that my testimony mattered.

I cried pretty much the entire talk actually,

I tried to pull myself together

but you could still hear my voice squeaking.

I didn't care

I am so thankful the lord gave me that oppurtunity

to grow, to be strengthened,

when I never would have been if I wasn't asked to speak.

That Sunday I felt so close to my Heavenly Father

and nothing could bring me down.

I love how I felt that day,

and I want to keep that feeling with me ALWAYS.

I LOVE this gospel,

and I am so grateful for it.