This past Sunday me and Log spoke in church.
I spoke on conversion
and he spoke on a mighty change of heart.
I prayed for the right inspiration
to come on where my Heavenly Father
wanted me to direct my talk.
I wanted to have the spirit with me through out it
and when I shared my testimony on conversion,
but as I prayed for this inspiration to come
I felt as if i didn't get anything.
I continued praying, going to the temple to pray,
but still nothing came
and I got disscouaged.
I know that was satan wanting me to feel that way,
to feel like I can't make a different,
so I got on my knees again.
This time when I went back to the computer
I began typing,
I felt inspired.
Still having some doubt in the back of my mind
I read and re read this talk 100 times
making sure I got in everything I wanted to share.
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When I give talks I write them out word for word.
Im NOT one of those people
who can have bullet points,
or simply know what I will say when I get up.
I WISH I was like that but im just not.
I write it out word for word
and I get scared
because I want so bad to connect with the audience ,
to look up,
and speak from my heart,
but that always feels so far from my reach.
So we woke up bright and early the morning of
and reviewed.
When I was preparing and reviewing
I felt really good about it and not too nervous.
We got to church, walked up front
and my hands began sweating,
I could hear my heart beating
I was so nervous.
When it was my turn I tried pulling myself together
and walked up to the pulpit.
Suddenly when I got up there all of my doubt left me
and I was able to be myself,
I hardly looked at my paper and i felt guided.
I felt the spirit overwhelm me.
Letting me know that what i was sharing
was true,
and that my testimony mattered.
I cried pretty much the entire talk actually,
I tried to pull myself together
but you could still hear my voice squeaking.
I didn't care
I am so thankful the lord gave me that oppurtunity
to grow, to be strengthened,
when I never would have been if I wasn't asked to speak.
That Sunday I felt so close to my Heavenly Father
and nothing could bring me down.
I love how I felt that day,
and I want to keep that feeling with me ALWAYS.
I LOVE this gospel,
and I am so grateful for it.